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is a growing addiction in the lives of many men. It
not have the same appeal to women. Men are more visually
whereas women stress relationships. Porn has also invaded
Christian community. Men who are faithful in worship
also may be addicted to porn and have hidden it from their
spouses for a long time. However, the effect of Porn in a
will be known by the wife sooner or later.
Pornography is something one uses to gain a sexual turn-on, it creates an attitude of having sex with someone who is not your wife and it does not qualify as art. It creates an ego centered
attitude toward sexuality rather than a responsible, loving relationship. Pornography always promises what it can't deliver. Most addictive behavior is trying to fill a need that the "fix", whether it be drugs, alcohol, gambling, or pornography, can never fill.
Marriages have been lost over the addiction to pornography. Children have been abused due to the same problem. Pornography twists a man’s thinking, women are viewed as sex objects, rather than a loving relationship of husband and wife.
Pornography dehumanizes women particularly, and men and boys where one is attracted to the same sex. The addict views women as a means of gratification without regard for the well-being of the woman, or responsibility to the woman. Sex becomes a sport and as in any sport one wants to become better at the game. But in this sport pornography is used as an arousing means, isolating sex from a loving relationship. Twenty percent (20%) of pornographic material depcits acts of sexual assault and rape and that percentage is increasing. This reflects the growing need in pornography for something more intense.
Pornography confuses lust with love. Lust has no end, there is only short term fulfillment before more intense porn is needed to overcome the growing tolerance for pornography. One may begin with “soft” porn but there is a growth into “hard” porn.
One may rationalize and say, “looking at nude pictures is
harmful,” but the research indicates
is not an innocent pastime. In a study of men who had come
to grips with porn and rejected it after many
80 percent said that it was harmful, 82 percent indicated that
distorted their view of sexuality, and 71 percent said that it
destructive in their lives. Unlike drugs which
affect the body as well as the mind, Pornography
with the mind and later affects the function of the body.
is dependent upon the mind first of all, and pornography
how one thinks about sexuality. Alaska and Nevada have the
highest rape sttistic in the nation and they also have the
readership of pornography. This is ironic since
has legalized prostitution.
How to Overcome Pornography;
l. Admit the problem first of all to yourself. Rationalizing will not help, it only delays the return to normalcy. It will be hard to admit, because no one may know about it, but you alone know and you alone can begin the healing process.
2. Admit the
to someone you trust. Your wife may have suspected something and she
be a strong ally in recovery. But you need also someone
who is not family to hold you accountable. Admit the
problem to God because He is also your allay in healing.
just admitting it to God is easy enough and He holds us
but this accountability is increased when we admit this to one of
his servants. Psalm 32:3-5 stresses the importance of
confessing and admitting. Confession is important to
begin dealing with the matter seriously.
3. Throw out all of your porn….whether magazines, videos, pictures, or whatever.
If you are using the Internet for pornography, purchase a filter that will not allow porn to come to your site. Shut down this means of temptation. Check this site for filters that will stop porn coming to your computer: Focus on the family . Stay away from video stores that rent or sell porn.
4. Begin a day at a time program. You do not have to swear off pornography for the rest of your life, just today. Each day you succeed will bring greater encouragement for winning tomorrow. If you fail for a day, you can recall all the days you succeeded, and you can begin a new account after your failure.
5.Make this addiction a serious matter of prayer. God is in the business of reclaiming lives. He is the God of new beginnings. Regardless of how long you have been addicted, God will enable you to change your way of thinking about porn. It will take some time to claim complete victory. Remember you got into this over a period of time, and it may take a period of time for you to free your mind of all the seduction of pornography.
6. Saturate your mind
Scripture. Start with Psalms: 119:9-11…”How can young people keep
their lives pure? By obeying your commands. With all my heart I
to serve you: keep me from disobeying your commandments. I
keep your law in my heart, so that I will not sin against you.”
Then Philippians 4:8, “In conclusion, my friends, fill your minds with those things that are good and that deserve praise: things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and honorable.”
Hebrews 12:1-2, “ As for us, we have this large crowd of witnesses around us. So then, let us rid ourselves of everything that gets in the way, and of the sin which holds on to us so tightly, and let us run with determination the race that lies before us. Let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus. on whom our faith depends ….”
Romans 12:1-2 “So then, my friends, because of God’s great mercy to us I appeal to you: Offer yourselves as a living sacrifice to God, dedicated to his service and pleasing to him. This is the true worship that you should offer. Do not conform yourselves to standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then, you will be able to know the will of God—what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect.” (See also Romans 6 and 7; Psalm 15)
7. If you need professional counseling,here are some possibilities.
Sex Addicts Anonymous
National Service Organization for S.A.A. Inc.
Los Angeles, CA
New York, NY
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
Sex Offenders Anonymous (SOANON)
Van Nuys, CA
Christian Association for Psychological Studies (CAPS)
Fuller Psychological and Family Services
Biola Counseling Center
La Mirada, CA
Effects of Pornography
Porn is not an innocent pastime without its victims. Children are the most serious victims of porn. Studies indicate that one in three girls and one in 7 boys will be sexually molested before the age of 18. What does this have to do with porn? Eighty-seven percent of molesters of girls admitted to being regular users of hard-core porn.
Not only the children, but women have been raped, abused sexually, and scarred for life by men addicted to porn. But it is not only men doing this. Young people are vulnerable to the influence of porn at an early age. A 12 year old boy, Brian Thompson, spent time in his pastor’s study calling dial-a-porn services and was exposed to a variety of sexual activities. After two weeks of listening, he assaulted a 4 years old girl. So many victims, the girl, her parents, her siblings, all have to live with that hideous crime.
Can a man view hundreds of pictures of naked women and then look upon his wife with the same sense of wonder? One woman wrote “Pornography has been a part of my husband’s life since he was a teenager…I have begged and pleaded for him to understand how his interest in everyone else’s body and sex life is ruining our marriage…how can a woman close her eyes to the fact that a man prefers to watch a flick than be with her?” How can one possibly say that it doesn’t undermine families and distort relationships in the family? A similar story could be told by thousands of wives.
Links to helpful sites
Focus on the Family
Barnabus Christian Counseling Network
Psychological Counseling Services
Pure Life Ministries
New Life Ministries
The Focus on the Family Website has nearly 200 articles one can read on-line. Go to Focus on the Family and type pornography in the search box. This page has been influenced by material on that website.The Healing Site